Nusikaltimai.

Aš dar nenusipirkau raudono pliušinio meškiuko.

Aš dar nenupirkau raudono pliušinio meškiuko. Man atrodo tokio nėra, kurio aš iš tikrųjų ieškau. O jeigu būtų - manyčiau su manimi kažkas labai rimtai pokštauja.

Esu apsėstas minčių agonijos. Kas dieną, kas minutę, man regis, nubraukiu po trupinėlį man duoto laiko, riedu į kiaurą skylę kažkur visų kitų pašonėje, paniręs pojūčiuose, narstau prisiminimus labai aiškiai regėdamas savo kalno papėdę, tą neišvengiamą dieną, kuri artėja ir nėra žaibiškai staigi – ima ardyti labai atsargiai. Kad nepajusčiau ęsąs nustojęs normaliai funkcijonuoti, kad ramiai prieičiau mirtį. Man skirto laiko mirtį. Kai tai įvyks, aš kažkur sustosiu, giliai savo viduje pajusiu atplaidavimą, tarytum labai pažįstamą, - staiga akimirksniu suvokiant, kad tai yra atėjęs paskutinis mano gyvas pojūtis. Ta mintis užmuš, ji bus baisi mirties agonija, visiškai mane sužeis, padarys mane metaboliška negyva išmetama atlieka - organai ir ląsteles nustos man ilgiau tarnavę.

I fried a black course bread. Later I sat by the table. The rice bread seemed tasteless at first glance, but I ate it with apetite. My gastric handled the previous events of the night. They blocked my throat like a paper. Possible that I will survive the twenty-four stop frame animations per day, and one of "25" is a completely incomprehensible to me? It live unconscious, deeper than any of the events, taking place around the world unclear when the flow of information, but can not be interconnected. It's simultaneously been rejected from my body as a growing the virus itself. Only my brain to process what I know and have experienced. The same as from the judge of the future. The future of an absolute solitude, which will take place in what no one can fully understand, and for anything to happen to me. Slowly sending up from the table. My eyes keep folollow the sound of trimmers, and then I increase the radio. Nothing more.

Finally, I went out to the street. There was pouring heavy rain. The sun looked somewhere dissolved, becoming  a black hole with an empty view of the front. Very bright lights of cars were moving in three bands. I just felt the humidity nicly flowing through my muscles. Near the house, the red metal mail box was painted inks fresh, cold and massive, right next to the indian food shops, live our neighbors which i am unfamilliar with. In the courtyard side the hanging garlands were blindly flashing. I did everything fast around my eyes - a white track bar, damp fences, wet pavement, dirty snow, and at the windows swaying garlands. Every day more and more. Towards the running of uncertainty approaching the line. Until the end.

I fried a black course bread. Later I sat by the table. The rice bread seemed tasteless at first glance, but I ate it with apetite. My gastric handled the previous events of the night. They blocked my throat like a paper. Possible that I will survive the twenty-four stop frame animations per day, and one of "25" is a completely incomprehensible to me? It live unconscious, deeper than any of the events, taking place around the world unclear when the flow of information, but can not be interconnected. It's simultaneously been rejected from my body as a growing the virus itself. Only my brain to process what I know and have experienced. The same as from the judge of the future. The future of an absolute solitude, which will take place in what no one can fully understand, and for anything to happen to me. Slowly sending up from the table. My eyes keep folollow the sound of trimmers, and then I increase the radio. Nothing more.

We went into the street, there was pouring heavy rain. The sun looked somewhere dissolved, becoming  a black hole with an empty view of the front.

Finally, I went out to the street. Very bright lights of cars were moving in three bands. I just felt the humidity nicly flowing through my muscles. Near the house, the red metal mail box was painted inks fresh, cold and massive, right next to the indian food shops, live our neighbors which i am unfamilliar with. In the courtyard side the hanging garlands were blindly flashing. I did everything fast around my eyes - a white track bar, damp fences, wet pavement, dirty snow, and at the windows swaying garlands. Every day more and more. Towards the running of uncertainty approaching the line. Until the end.

chmm

Pagaliau baigiu kepti. Sėdžiu prie stalo, kramsnoju juodą ryžių duoną, atrodo skanesnė nė iš pirmo žvilgsnio. Skrandis apdoroja praėjusios nakties įvykius, jie stringa gerklėje tarsi popierius. Galimas daiktas, kad aš išgyvenu dvidešimt keturis kadrus per parą, o vienas „25“ yra man yra visiškai nesuvokiamas - gyvena pasąmonėje, giliau už visų tų vykstančių aplinkui pasaulinių įvykių, kada neaiškiai klaidžioju trūkinėjančiuose informacijos srautuose, bet negaliu jų tarpusavyje susieti, todėl labai sinchroniškai juos atmetu tarsi kokį augantį savyje virusą. Mano smegenys tesugeba apdoroti tai, ką pažįstu ir išgyvenu aš pats, -  iš to galiu spręsti apie būsimą ateityje absoliučią vienatvę, kurioje įvyks tai, ko niekas negalės iki galo suprasti, ir už tai man nieko neįvyks. Lėtai atsistoju nuo stalo, akimis palydžiu nusitęsusį garsą paskui žoliapjovę, paskui pagarsinu radijo imtuvą. Nieko daugiau.