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The summer breeze blew right through me and the smell of night-scented stock covered the city. I was the city. I was a prowling warewolf and a running rabbit. I was a growing flower and a consuming maggot. I was vibrant life and a rotting corpse.

I closed the window, leaving the night’s scent behind me and sat in my chair. The alarm clock buzzed, reminding me to take my medication. The oval is for insomnia, the round one is for anxiety, and the capsule is for sadness. I closed my eyes and looked through the window again. I’m getting back to the magical city at night. I’m getting back to myself. I am more than what divides me.
2018-02-04 01:32
Į mėgstamiausius įsidėjo
Šią informaciją mato tik svetainės rėmėjai. Plačiau...
 
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Balsų: 4 Kas ir kaip?
 
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2018-02-07 09:30
Ambien pill
Konstantinas,

10 points to you, bo mano sesko vardas irgi Konstantinas buvo. Blyat blyat :*
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2018-02-07 09:18
Ambien pill
Kitkis,

nu begioja tas kiskis po kurini sau ir viskas! Suprantu, kad gal pavydas tarp kiskiu gali kilti, bet vienas, tarkim, gali begiot po kuryni, o kitas po sijonu,  gal net ir manuoju, ane? Ar tinka kompromisas? Ir sitaip rasyk.lt virsta i tinderi..
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2018-02-06 23:58
Konstantinas Reikauskas
And I very much :) Ten point from my go to Ambien pill. Very very blyat!
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2018-02-06 19:08
Trantsliukatoriuts Agu Kitkits
Gerai, ats tsuprantu, tia meilė ir vitsa kita, pet vitsdėlto, o kur tada atsakymats man, Kitkeliui Napagėliui, m? Ir pratsau paratsyti lietuvitskai, ir dar paratsyti, kodėl po kūrinį  laktsto triutsits, taip!
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2018-02-06 18:36
Ambien pill
WRIDE,

Spare me your asinine power fantasies you autistic pseudo-intellectual shit-bird. You're not half as smart as you believe yourself to be. And the fact that "doxxing" is your response to a fairly polite and gentle explanation of your errors shows how comically fragile your belief in your own intelligence is. This is textbook narcissistic rage: I intellectually smack you down, you breifly glimpse the depths of your own mediocrity, and you spiral into a fit of rage as a defense mechanism.

I'm not even annoyed. You're nothing but a petulant and delusional child. You have my pity. Sort yourself out, sweetheart.

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2018-02-06 18:09
Trantsliukatoriuts Agu Kitkits
O, Wraidats tsutsirado tsau panelę, taip?...a...e...tai yra ats komentuoju kūrinį,...yra ats netycia dapar, tietsiog lapai patsinetsęts į vitsokets pirtslypats ir vitsa tai man yra tietsiog pataka, taip! Pet ats tuoj, ats apie kūrinį...a...tia kazkokts tai triutsits duodatsi po jį, taip? Po kūrinį triutsits pėgiuoja?...A...o kodėl jūts kalpatėts ne lietuvitskai ats netsuprantu...piau piau tada...nepuvęts, pa.
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2018-02-06 17:05
wride
I recommend you move to zaliazole.lt or to wattpad.com (the weakest online literature gets).
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2018-02-06 17:04
wride
I doxxed the guy who wrote this nonsense, looks like someone desperate enough to praise your nonsense. I'll have my fun with him when the time comes. if you choose to argue and listen to your eurocucks instead of me, feel free to do so, but keep in mind that nobody will ever print something this bad.

to summarize what the cuck said:
1) it's frequently used in art (is a cliche), hence it's good
2) I like it, hence it's good
3) I'm lost among "me" and "the author"

I'm not talking through messengers, if you ever seem interesting enough, I'll get to you myself.

I was feeling generous and considering pointing out the nonsense of the 2nd paragraph (or, according to the cuck, "stanza", LuL), such as "the round one for anxiety", "sat in my chair" etc. but you're prideful enough for me not to bother.

let us allow others to witness this mess of a text. that's all you're getting from me.
good day!
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2018-02-06 02:09
Ambien pill
WRIDE,

A: The summer breeze blew right through me

W: "the summer breeze" as opposed to "the warm breeze" or anything similar is way too abstract thus it 1) completely forgets the relativeness of the word "summer"

You find it abstract because you're not familiar with English idioms, and because the meaning of an idiom is rarely deducible from the words that comprise it (e.g.“shooting the breeze”). Almost all native speakers would recognize that it means something like “a warm relaxing wind.” The expression is frequently used in poetry, music, and literature, and here, it's intended to conjure up the sensory experiences of summer and the sense of sudden relief that comes with the arrival of a gentle breeze on a warm summer night.

https://glosbe.com/en/en/summer%20breeze

2) lacks any kind of poetic meaning

The meaning is described in the third sentence of the above paragraph: “[It's intended to] conjure up the sensory experiences of summer and the sense of sudden relief that comes with the arrival of a gentle breeze on a warm summer night.”


A: and the smell of night-scented stock covered the city

W: “what does "stock" mean here? the only thing it could mean is "sultinys" (other possible translations of the word stock see no light in this scenario) which once again makes no sense. "night" is not yet defined so the reader is brought upon a very abstract/subjective smell, rather, a feeling.”

Before launching into a confused criticism of an unfamiliar term, the civil and prudent thing to do is Google it. Night-scented stock (matthiola longipetala) is a fairly well known night-blooming flower. In the poem it serves to create a sense of mood and atmosphere: The flower releases its fragrance only at night, and it evokes the emotions that accompany the experience of a beautiful and transient fragrance enriching the general gestalt of the scene I'm describing.


W: :also "the city" what city? why would it be "the city"? if so, why is it not capitalized? sollutions: "our city" "the city of <...>" etc.”

The significance of “the city” should be clear from what follows it. I describe several symbolic contradictions that I identify as components of my psyche: The phrase “prowling werewolf and running rabbit” represent a history in which I was both vicious predator and victimized prey. The phrase “growing flower and consuming maggot” represents the duality of beautiful creation and repugnant destruction that I find myself immersed in. The phrase “I was vibrant life and a rotting corpse” represents my bipolar fluctuation between the death of depression and the vibrant liveliness of mania. “The city” is the container in which all of the preceding contradictions and dualities exist. It is my mind. It is a metaphorical representation of the architecture of my being. 




W: "the smell of a night-scented".
where does the hate against articles come from?”

“Night-scented stock” is the name of a type of flower and a collective noun. It's no more grammatically incorrect than: “The smell of coffee filled the room.” It's not “the smell of a coffee...” And it's certainly not “the smell of a night-scented stock” when one is describing a category of flower.



A: I was the city.

W: “syntax, perhaps "that city was me", if that sounds too radical, try "I was that city"

Note that in the first stanza “the city” is identified with a set of conflicting metaphors, and in the second stanza, after the medications are ingested, “the city” is identified as “magical”, signifying a transition to a more serene and harmonious state of mind. The past-tense statement “I was the city” indicates that the poem was written from the vantage point of the second, “magical city” - i.e. in a balanced state of mind - and the author is looking retrospectively at the first “city” and describing the transition to the second one. “I was the city” is perfectly apt.


A: I was a prowling warewolf and a running rabbit


W: You can't be a "running rabbit". rabbits are not rivers.

In the sentence: “I was a (…) running rabbit” “running rabbit” is a perfectly legitimate participle phrase. “Running rabbit” is a single grammatical entity – it's a rabbit in the process of running made into a unit in a participle phrase. And the same goes for the other sentences you objected to.


W: (...)in that case, what was that maggot consuming? it's not indicated, making it confusing. you could be "a maggot consuming [article Noun]" but not a consuming maggot.

“Consuming” in the sense of “a consuming fire” or “an all consuming monster”.

<3
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2018-02-05 20:24
wride
Man neįtiko?
Dabar klausyk.

The summer breeze blew right through me
"the summer breeze" as opposed to "the warm breeze" or anything similar is way too abstract thus it 1) completely forgets the relativeness of the word "summer" 2) lacks any kind of poetic meaning
and the smell of night-scented stock covered the city
what does "stock" mean here? the only thing it could mean is "sultinys" (other possible translations of the word stock see no light in this scenario) which once again makes no sense. "night" is not yet defined so the reader is brought upon a very abstract/subjective smell, rather, a feeling. also "the city" what city? why would it be "the city"? if so, why is it not capitalized? sollutions: "our city" "the city of <...>" etc. last of all, "the smell of a night-scented".
where does the hate against articles come from?
I was the city.
syntax, perhaps "that city was me", if that sounds too radical, try "I was that city"
I was a prowling warewolf and a running rabbit.
You can't be a "running rabbit". rabbits are not rivers. you could be a "scared rabbit", a "rabbit that tried to escape" but certainly not a "running rabbit". "prowling werewolf" has a similar error although not that drastic.
I was a growing flower and a consuming maggot.
"growing flower" makes no sense in English, see, you could be a "blooming flower" or a "flower in the middle of it's growth" (still bad) or whatnot, but this is way too confusing. "a flower that grows" could bring some clarity, but not enough.
"consuming maggot". let's try to translate this into Lithuanian, eh? "to consume" -"vartoti, naikinti, vartoti naikinant" something like that. in that case, what was that maggot consuming? it's not indicated, making it confusing. you could be "a maggot consuming [article Noun]" but not a consuming maggot.

Ir aš galėčiau tęst ir tęst, bet man nuo tokios anglų kalbos įsiskausta galvą. Sori.
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2018-02-05 01:57
Ambien pill
wride,
nieko neverčiau iš LT ir norėčiau mandagesnio paaiškinimo, kas Jums neįtiko, kad galėčiau tobulėti.
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2018-02-04 16:17
wride
"consuming" maggot
"rotting" corpse
"sat in" my chair
bleeee, nu toks ŠŪDAS. vertinys iš LT kalbos į anglų.
1minus
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2018-02-04 13:33
varna
priminė bredberio apsakymų nuotrupas, tokia asociacija
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2018-02-04 12:00
Algis69
Man patiko :)
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