Funny Matter

Funny matter, when I see
How you smile and how you feel,
All of what I have foreseen
Is lost in overwhelming thrill.

Nothing left just dizzy thought
Which I tried to keep suppressed:
Love infection had I got?
And again: I’m damned or blessed?

Spending lives in seek of it,
Passing thru a hundred ways,
What I learnt and what I did
And all challenges I faced
Seem to near the wanted end.

Hundred times I thought I‘ve hit, -
But each time it looks at hand -
Slips away and fades like mist,
And again I plough the sand.

God, with wisdom me endow:
Should I stay or should I go?