A land of thousand silences

Deep, sad breath follows me every time I try to love, keeps me in this dark and without a way out dreamy world. Let me go - I keep saying, your winter has already come and I’m just in my early fall.

Melancholic waves, summer rain and nipping wind of grey morning still get me, you know. God, you’re damn right, maybe I feel less and I have more mess all over my head and to be honest I say sorry all the time, but… You’re wrong saying I can’t love anyone else except you and I always interrupt you: “I can’t love a dead man”. But when a silent night comes, I face the truth that the deep, sad breath is my anguish of forever loving you.

Although I keep climbing that hill with everybody else on this ground and it\\\'s fine, it makes me incarnate my life. The thing is, when I’m back to my apartment, I’m alone as fall. Besides, do you know why fall is lonely? It\\\'s because nobody really gets him. If fall was a human being, we would ask why is he always so sad and cries a lot. God, get yourself together man we would say. Although he is beautiful – everybody admits. He is just so sad and so quiet that nobody really wants to know him better. Yes, he is a wallflower and he knows that for himself, but nobody has ever thought of the fact that he is so colorful because he’s a redeemer: he knows people, their sins and dreams. They are all different and colors him red and brown. It’s not easy to live with all those people in your heart, you know. But he doesn’t complain about it, he is actually happy. Maybe because fall is in love with people and he couldn’t imagine any other purpose of life, he is blissful and he doesn’t need others to think he is though.

And that is why I feel like fall, I had you in my heart but to my grief you died. But that doesn’t make me miserable or empty. My neighbor Sofia says: go get another man, you’ll be happy again. But, honey, I don’t listen to her. I am already happy because that deep, sad breath reminds me of you and the love we had. It’s enough for me, it makes me colorful. You get me, right? You used to get me…