the definition of insanity

Yesterday I saw something I long forgot about. It was Far Cry 3's infamous „The definition of insanity“ game trailer where the antagonist Vaas tells his victim how crazy is to do the same thing over and over again expecting shit to change. One of the best performances in game voice acting, I think. Pretty sure Albert Einstein was the original author of this scary phrase.  Sounds so cool but when you really start looking around, you realize there is so much truth to it.

Yesterday I forgot it as quickly as the last time I heard it. And I guess it could have been left at that. Like many things in my life that I just see, admire for a while and then go by like it never happened. This morning a strange thing occurred while going to work by a trolleybus. I always take my lucky 17 to work. This morning a messy looking woman approached me. Her hair was a web one easily may lose himself in. She was skinny, her age - well, I guess she could be my grandmother by the look in her eyes and the excess skin on her cheeks and forehead. Old worn clothes. A grey manly jacket, green muddy rubber shoes. Some cheap „Crocs“ rip-offs. Black narrow pants with grey lines. Grey hair. So much grey about her. A grey personality. But it was not her greyness that caught my attention. She asked me if she could get to the labor exchange using this route and I answered „Yes“ while standing in between the doors but it didn't convince her. So she asked me again and again I replied „Yes, you will“. Didn't notice anything unusual about it until I sat down and started my routine stare through the window into the same bleak images I see every morning. The Grey Woman stood next to me asking the same question „Will I get to the labor exchange by taking this trolleybus? „ with more uncertainty than when getting on the trolleybus. I wasn't in the mood to repeat myself. Sleep deprivation changes you into a nervous bitchy cunt. Told her the name of the stop she needs to get off and assured that she's on the right path. „Just get off at Northern Town, Ma'am... „, my tone wasn't anything close to friendly. After that she just asked: „Last stop? „ What the fuck is she talking about, I thought. It's three stops from here. Now I repeated myself with heightened voice. It seems I confused and scared the Grey Woman off. She didn't ask me again but went to the front and started asking the driver same questions instead. The guy behind the wheel sounded even more confused than I felt. Told her exactly the same thing I did. But I guess the man who does this job day by day didn't sound pretty convincing to her either. So she started asking all the passengers sitting in front those trademark questions: „Will I get to the labor exchange? Last stop. Yes? „. It went on for a while when we all reached „The Northern Town“. And she finally got off followed by the voices of people telling her to get off because it's where the labor exchange is. Even when out of the trolleybus I heard her saying/asking repeatedly „Last stop (?) „. I knew where the place was and I saw her moving in the right direction but when the doors closed The Grey Woman suddenly turned around with an empty stare in her eyes. She kept walking in the opposite direction for a while then stopped. Looked so fucking lost. She was too far away to be heard but I saw her lips whispering the words we all grew so quickly tired of. Desperately looking for a job when nobody really wanted to hire because of how she was. Repeating the same questions again and again expecting to hear different answers. And I kept repeating the same answers to her expecting her to understand. We all did. And then I asked myself deep down inside: „Aren't we ALL doing the same thing again and again day by day? Aren't we ALL a bit... INSANE? „