“No one there”

Darkness under the eyelids lures me in. For a moment, I break loose from the darkness of sleep I seek. I look around. Try to look fascinated and engaged in the classroom activities.

Yet, the view before me becomes foggier and foggier. The head becomes heavier and heavier. I try to stay awake and listen to the instructors’ monologue. Thus far, it was just too boring. Images are lightly running on the tips of my eyelashes. 

Pain surfaces from the depths of my body when I try to brake loose out the clutches of the dreams kingdom. “Wake up” shouts my brain. “Sleep” replies my body. “Yes, sleep” I whisper in my half-sleep.

“What do you want? ” asks someone in the whisper. So silently, at the same time the words were so clear. For a second I open my eyes and look around. No one is waiting for an answer. No one is giving the question. I feel as I am falling down, so slowly. In my mind, I know that this is first stage of sleep. I try to open my eyes. I cannot fall asleep. “Not, yet” this time whisper leaves my lips with a sigh. Few seconds later, I am barely awake.

“What do you want? ” asks again the voice this time much louder. Half-conscious or half-asleep I answer. In a murmur words flows out of me: “I wish that the professor would disappear. ”

The voice no longer asks. No longer demands an answer. I let the sleep to take me over. I am at the brink of deep sleep. Yet, I cannot fall asleep. Something interrupts my trip to the land of dreams. It is not the noises, not the bright lights. It is something else.

Presence of loss consumes the room. I hear the pens scribbling all around me. I hear people whispering in the far corner. I hear my friend yawning loudly. In spite of that, I know that something is missing. The presence of loss is so clear. I listen harder. The clutches of the dreams and nightmares releases me. I do not open my eyes, yet. I have to find what is missing.

Now I understand. A sound is missing. Professor is no longer talking. I open my eyes. For a moment, bright light touches my retina and my nerves announce it is painful. I look around and I know that professor is no longer there. He is gone. Maybe the class is over. I look at the clock and see that 30 minutes are still left.

I want to talk with Markus, but then something struck me as odd. Professor is not here, but why no one is acting as if they are free from the education purgatory? The sounds around me are just too wrong. The behavior of my classmates is entirely incorrect. There is no joyful laughter or conversations about nothing in particular. All around me is the empty silence and the scribbling of pens. I look at Markus:

“ Hey, where did mr. Donkevich went? ”

“ Ha ha ha. You wish! He is where he was 10 minutes ago, there. ” – He points to the place where the professor should be. I see the empty space. He announces me that there is someone there. I see that he is serious.

“ Oh, yes” – I mumble.

My blood runs faster. Sweat runs down my back. My fingers tremble. Why I cannot see him? Why I cannot hear him? What happened? Am I dreaming? No, it is not a dream. It is too vivid and too real.

“Jack, are you alright? ” – He whispers – “You are white as sheet”

I cannot answer. I am staring at the empty space. There is no one there, but why everyone is acting as if there is someone there. Why no one is laughing if this is a joke.
I stand up. For a moment, I balance between my chair and floor before it. Then, run out of the class. Alas, my wish come true