Death of a virgin

He`s in his room
The lights are off
The music is on
And he rests peacefully in his bed.
His eyes are shut
His conscience is clear

He told me not to tell
That it was all a bad dream
But nothing to regret
And all I can remember is that night
Laying drunken in the bed
Allowing him to have his way with me
Eternally blaming myself
Never returning to the woman i once was

I'm in my room
The lights are on
The music is off
I toss and turn in my bed
My eyes are red and swollen
My innocence is lost

p.s. I can't find it my heart to hate him.