Betrayed by happiness

I always speek of happiness
As if I was betrayed by her.
She’s like a woman, a goddess
Who used to take good care of me
And let me lay my head on her warm breast.
Then one day she left
Without a trail in the woods
Without a smell of her perfume
Lingering in cold fall air.

I cannot recall what it’s like
To put an honest smile
On my face that’s ripped apart by lies.
Even tears are afraid to peek through.
I cannot be happy, cannot be sad,
Only somewhere in between,
Where I wake up everyday with my head
Blowing up
And do the same shit
That should lure happiness back from the woods.