One Last Time

Oh my dear lord how pained my heart feels,
How difficult it is to breathe!
Concerns of others weigh me down,
Like blocks of lead or neutron stars.
Their sweet words stab right through my soul,
Leaving holes the size of cosmos.

I can't stand „How are you? „
I hate „How've you been? „

How dare I hate the care of others?
How dare I wish I was alone?

Why can't I simply be like others?
Why am I such a rotten soul?

I cry at night - such a height of self-pity!
I should hurry and fix myself already.
But yet I don't know how - is that not a crime?
So please, lock me up and kick me around.
Better yet - put me on death row!
I feel no need to be alive, after all.

But I only joke, please keep me alive.
Even in this state, I refuse to die.
I just want to live, I do not care how,
Do anything, just fix me somehow.
I'm simply tired of feeling so drab,
I'm puting my faith in you one last time.