rašyk.lt: Kūriniai / Sakliv / Last step

I alone was walkin
trough the street of Love
Nearby lantern was lightin
But for me there was no hope.

Then fellows of mine,
those big old trees
start whishpering „Why
are you doing this? “

I just went on by.
at the end of the street
was the end of the life
the edge was in a feet

I don‘t know why you cry
It‘s my who‘s falling downhill
To you I won‘t say goodbye
I wasn‘t there for you... but still...

Blogas komentaras Rodyti?

2009-12-11 15:24

Na 55

beautiful.

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2009-12-06 14:47

Sakliv

thank you for encouragement ;)

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Blogas komentaras Rodyti?

2009-12-05 01:34

25 kadro nėra

Small notes:

1) [I alone (this word goes to the end of the sentence) was walking]; [I just went (just isnt' right usage for past simple tense) on by. / at (and) the end of the street]; [It‘s my (me) who‘s falling downhill]; [To you (goes to the end) I won‘t say goodbye]; [But for me (it's no need to use these ones after all) there was no hope] and probably etc. - incorrect sentences (either from morfological or stylistic side)

2) *through; *whispering; *lighting, walking (shortened verbal forms ussualy shows lack of english skills)

3) the content is quit primitive.

I liked the idea of these places: [fellows of mine, those big old trees]; [end of the street was the end of th e life]

gave you very small 2 but only only in advance.

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