To my Father
I had another dream
(about you).
I almost choked to death.
The knock on neighbor’s door
Had woken me up;
And I survived it –
The tears filled up
My eyes.
I never cry –
Not in my dreams.
I thought I grew
Long time ago
Out of all this.
The last time
I saw You
I had my uniform, my books,
One bag of clothes
And little sister
On my hand-
I never wanted to
Come back.
And now,
After decade had passed,
I still don’t know
How it would be
If I would have
To see you
Everyday.
I wouldn’t know –
To hug you
Or to hate you;
To let you go
Or make you stay;
I wouldn’t know
In what way
To approach you-
I want to scream
What I was carrying
Inside
Out loud –
All in your face.
Instead I’m screaming
In my dreams –
My neighbors
Think I am insane.
I am not ready yet
To make peace
With you.
I am indifferent-
You made me be
That way.
June 27, 2008