Grandma, letter for you

Didn't expect you to leave us unannounced,
Even though I knew life hurt you.
You have never lived a life,
Those medicated moments weren't real...
Peaceful, but drugged feeling of security,
Should we be glad it's all over for you?
Did life foreseed you to become eternal?
Now you're the piece of the divine in me,
Which I never will let die...
Unnoticable caretaker of the little things,
With you, standing at the maker's door,
Did you know how much it changes everything?
Sorry that I didn't wake you up,
My yell was not enough...
Prayed the God, not to take you away,
Seems as I didn't grow up, not understanding inevitable...
But enough of my thoughts,
I know, the maker will guide you safely to your place of peace,
He knows you deserve the best,
Otherwise you wouldn't fade in your sleep...
Accept my apology of my selfish tears,
I'm going to miss you.