rašyk.lt: Kūriniai / Tipė / An ultimate thought

Drink me without a sugar,
Touch me without a blame,
Tease me as if I'm yours',
Please me like it's your game.
Better things and lower voice
Get it free without a noise
Make a choice for fun
Take a risk and run
Get more for having more
Say NO for just ignore

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2007-10-19 08:13

Elfegas Sinušas

Without a sugar - a very big mistake. To be safe and sound, always use "any" after without.
Without any sugar, any blame, any noise and bla bla bla
yours' - ' is unnecessary
please me - sounds very artificial. Give me satisfaction is the stuff you mean, I suppose.
... and a lower voice
take a risk is okey-dokey. But I would say take the risk, 'cause he or she must make a choice and without knowing the risk he or she takes, he or she couldn't make up his or her mind. That's why - take the risk sounds better in all respects.
Say No for just ignore - poetically it is correct. Again gramatically you can just write: Say No - just ignore. This "for" is very confusing.
I don't know how long you have been studying English, but your vocabulary is very poor. You just use the words you know and try to put them in a certain sequence to work out the meaning.
Definetely find the poem "IF" by Rudyard Kingling or something by Robert Frost in the web. You can enrich your vocabulary greatly and learn to put words together. Let's keep in touch, if you want.
All the best.

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