rašyk.lt: Kūriniai / Inferis

Black shameless rain cries
Black raindrops falling from skies
Bitter tears I taste
And She flies away in haste

Black rain forever binds me to earth
Scorched and blood drenched, never to rebirth
I shall not be tormented forever
Winter will come along as ever

It will freeze black rain
And I shall rise again
Rise hight into the skies
Where my beloveth beneath clouds lies

But winter too passes... And returns the pain
Black rain binds me to the earth again

Blogas komentaras Rodyti?

2007-10-17 11:09

Elfegas Sinušas

... raindrops are falling from the skies
the black rain forever binds me to the earth
it will freeze the black rain
rise high(ly)...
... clouds lie
... and the pain returns
the black rain
A surrealistic and depressing plot leads nowhere. The stanzas have been joined artificially. The repetition of the same words (black, rain, winter, skies, earth, bind, forever) does not extend the plot and makes it even more boring. I think you can write 2,000 poems like that, and then what?

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