Idealization

I'm happy for you yet I'm jelous so much.
You seem like a beacon of hapiness.
Your self-confidence reaches the sky and beyond,
Meanwhile mine is the size of an ant.

You live in the light, meanwhile I - in dark shadows,
Fearing the sun scorching my skin.
You show the world who you are very bravely,
Yet I remain scared to tell people my name.

I know, I see, that you're as flawed as me,
But I can't help but make you my ideal.
I doubt you appreciate this gesture of mine,
Perhaps you even dare find me crazy.

I need to stop it with my sick fantasies,
I need to quit my daydreaming quirks.
I need to grow up myself already,
And no longer play kid's stupid games.