letter

hey,

It‘s been long since we met last time. I‘m sorry I didn‘t wrote or call to You.. life‘s hard, but we have to live. Like I always said. Keep hanging on. Things we‘ll become better. But you know what? I‘m starting to lose hope.. life look s to hard.. that‘s what You always said.. i never believed in you. I‘m so sorry. I‘m thinking about thngs that you always screamed in to my face. You were damn right my friend, and I was wrong. I don‘t know why you all believed in me. It‘s one of those things that I‘ll never understand.....
There‘s many things that I wanted to tell You. To tell for everyone. But I never said. It was to hard, to painfull. Just like life. How many times we were ready to die? How many times we were rady to do bad stuff? How many times we lost hope? Said lie? Dreamed about things that will never become true? It‘s our way to live, you said.. but I think you were wrong in that. I‘m sorry. I keep telling were did you did mistaces.....
And about my mistaces. I did more then you. almuost in every step. There was times when i said I‘m sorry, there was times, that i couln‘t say any world. All those mistaces bringed me so much pain. It was not a great thing. But it‘s a life. And life brings pain, fear.. and pain and fear makes us tomake mistaces. Bad mistaces. But mistaces are to become better......
So.. i‘m sorry for all those mistaces. I‘m sorry for being wrog. I‘m sorry for pain and fear. I‘m sorry for dreams that will never become true. For those times that i said „everyting‘s ok“ for all those lies, for everything.. all i ever do, is mistaces and saying sorry.. oh, and teaching how to live. It‘s the best thing in a world. To teach people how to live, how to smile, how to be happy... i teached them, but i never teached me.. all is pain. Smile, but my smile not everyday was truely smile. I dreamed about happynes, but i was just a dream. And those dreams helped me to teach people how to be happy and live......
Now I lost my hope. I‘m done. Today i will smile from my heart, i will cry, if I‘ll feel sad or something.. I will say „I don‘t care. It‘s your life not mine. Live the way you want to.. “ i‘ll change. That change wont be good as you see. This is my last letter. Take care. About your self and everyone we loved.. cause life‘s hard and all we have to do to make it better is smile......
I never believed in that.. you too. But now you understand the true, but i never understanded it.. until today. Life‘s not the way i dreamed about.. you fill forgive me for all, i hope. ....
It‘s all.. wont say that we‘ll see soon. We wont meet. Wish you luck and better life. Life full of joy.....



Your beloved friend.......



p. s. i can‘t take it anymore.. it‘s too hard.. I‘m sorry. You know what will be next.. so bye bye for ever...
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