rašyk.lt: Kūriniai / Tipė / Sincerely yours

I never loved you more than life
That's why I chose the other side
Where many hearts refused to cry
Just lonely angels dance at night

Could I give it for that feeling
Just a minute for such day
Should I try and keep it
Whether other go my way

Telling little lie to angels
They believe it or they will
Planting lilies at the world edge
Their smell smooths my thrill

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2007-12-07 20:43

Cat In the Hat

Nnors skaitosi lengvai ,nesupratau apie ką.Akis kliūva už labai elementarių klaidelių.Parašei labai paprastai, per daug paprastai net gi.Galima vienus žodžius keisti kitais.Manau būtų paslaptingesnis kūrinys.;]]

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2007-10-19 11:27

Elfegas Sinušas

I've never loved... (I think this is better)
just the lonely angels danced at night -(somehow feel the article is needed)
... for such a day
the other goes my way or the others go my way
telling a little lie or little lies to the angels
.. at the world's edge
their flavour or fragrance (not smell).
A lot of nice words, but no romantic framework. Your first one has been better.

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2007-10-19 09:11

Tommis

Labai smagus eiliukas ;-)

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